Miss Congeniality
by LilLuckyLivelyLily
Summary: the story is based of the movie but it wont be exactly like it. it's L/J and like my other fics, its weird...


Hi it's me again! As many of you probably know already my fics are very weird and have weird ideas! Well this one isn't as strange! Yay! Now bSmittenb is gonna take a while cause I still have the writers' block.  
  
Please spare me if the story line is kinda off from the movie, 'cause I haven't seen it in a long time, and I just got the idea to do this while reading something else totally different. I don't know why. And I'm trying to make it iexactlyi like the movie.  
  
Ok now on with the story!  
  
¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~? ¿~?  
  
Lily Evans was a tomboy; she hated anything that had to do with girly stuff. She was 19 years old and outta Hogwarts. Lily currently works for the Ministry of Magic as an auror.  
  
That was the introduction, thank you very much!  
  
Lily was sitting in her chair feet on her desk, reading about the latest Voldemort attack, when her boss Mr. Pogostick (A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry I just felt like doing that!) barged in her door.  
  
"Miss Evans, I have a new lead about the next attack!"  
  
"Oh really, so Voldie isn't gonna attack the Butterbeer Factory."  
  
"Miss Evans this is not the time for sarcasm! Now listen closely, I've just heard from one of our most trusted spies that You-Know-Who is going to attack the Miss England Beauty Pageant!"  
  
Lily burst out laughing, "Hahahaha! He's gonna attack a beauty pageant?! What, Voldie finally looked in the mirror and decided to do something about his face and become Miss/Mr. Wiltshire and later Miss England?"  
  
(A/N: I have a map of England right now so I just took one of the states/provinces of England, or at least I think they're states.)  
  
"No, Miss Evans, You-Know-Who will not decide to enter the pageant, you are."  
  
"Hahah- WHAT?!?!?!?!?!" Lily was blowing off steam, her face was so hot you could fry an egg on it.  
  
"Yes, you are going undercover as Leah Sue Emerson, Miss Surrey. Since the real Miss Surrey injured her leg and her first runner up had food poisoning, you got the job. Your task is to protect the girls when You-Know- Who attacks. "  
  
Lily saw that he looked dead serious so she said, "Why in hell would Voldemort wanna attack a beauty pageant?"  
  
Mr. Pogostick sighed and shook his head, "I don't know, we don't know, we can only guess that a huge gathering of muggles is a too good of a chance to pass up."  
  
"So I'm gonna be the only witch there? Oh great! Wait! Why me? Couldn't you have gotten anyone else to do this job?"  
  
"I'm sorry Miss Evans all the others in this department are either men or really ugly women, and you are the only one that looks decent in a bikini."  
  
"Oh gee thanks." Lily replied dryly staring at her boss.  
  
"Alright! Now I'll send up professionals to make you look pretty and teach you what it takes to be a beauty queen. Bye for know Miss Evans or should I say, Miss Emerson."  
  
Lily scowled at her boss as he walked out of her office. She could refuse him, but then people would die, and besides she needed the money and undercover jobs pay a lot!  
  
"Ah! So we meet again, Miss Evans!"  
  
Lily's head snapped up, she knew this voice all too well. This was the voice that informed her of her parents' death, this was the voice that made opening speeches at feasts, this was the voice that understood why she got detention in Hogwarts.  
  
(A/N: YES! You know who I'm talking about.)  
  
Lily looked into the twinkling eyes of ALBUS DUMBLEDORE.  
  
"Lily! I am your beauty instructor!"  
  
(A/N: Scary, isn't it!)  
  
Lily fell off her chair in a dead faint.  
  
Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç Ç*ç  
  
"Lily, Miss Evans, Leah, Miss Emerson, Miss Surrey wake up."  
  
Lily opened her eyes a little bit and saw the concerned face of Albus Dumbledore looking down at her.  
  
"I just had the weirdest dream! I dreamt that I had to enter a beauty pageant and you were my beauty instructor!"  
  
"My dear, that wasn't a dream, it's real, I really am your beauty instructor."  
  
Lily wanted to faint again but she controlled herself, "Professor! How in the world did you get this weird job? I mean you're a great wizard, you should be in Hogwarts right now!"  
  
"Did that faint bump your head Lily? It's summer, even an old man like me needs to take a vacation. And what better way to do it than being a part of the pageant! Oh by the way maybe you didn't know but I specialize as a beauty manager!"  
  
Lily shook her head numbly. Who in the word would have thought one of the greatest wizards who ever lived was a beauty and fashion fanatic? The thought still creeped her out.  
  
"Well!" Professor Dumbledore said cheerfully, "Lets get to work, now something needs to be done about your hair." Lily fingered her messy red hair. Dumbledore caught her hand and examined it, "Your fingernails are horrible, do you bite them?" Lily nodded.  
  
"Hmm. a little make-up won't hurt."  
  
"WHAT??? MAKE-UP? EWW GROSS I'M NEVER GONNA WEAR MAKE UP IF MY LIFE DEPENTS ON IT!"  
  
"Well Lily not your life but others at the pageant."  
  
Lily thought about it for a while and finally mumbled a feeble, "Alright."  
  
"Now Lily, lets go to my lab, you do know how to apperate right?"  
  
"Yeah I can apperate, umm.. lab?"  
  
"Oh, that's where I make everybody all pretty!"  
  
Lily thought her former headmaster was mad, "You mean you did this before?"  
  
"Of course! I'm a trained professional!"  
  
Lily had one thought in her head, i 'creepy, Creepy, CREEPY!!' i  
  
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Well what do you think? I know this is very, very weird. And Hahaha Dumbledore as a beauty consultant!  
  
I take back what I said above about this being a normal story, it's NOT!  
  
AND IF YOU DUMB PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED.  
  
Leah Sue Emerson is gonna be Lily's fake undercover name.  
  
Surrey and Wiltshire are states/provinces or something like that.  
  
So when I said Miss Surrey and Miss Wiltshire it's like saying Miss New Jersey, and Miss Rhode Island. In case you haven't noticed I like in the states. So I have no idea about England stuff, I just found a map so just go along with me.  
  
Oh yeah REVIEW!  
  
LIKE I SAID IN MY OTHER FIC, IT'S LIKE CONSTANTLY HAVING TO REMIND A FOUR YEAR OLD TO WASH HIS HANDS AFTER USING THE RESTROOM, I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO REMIND YOU PEOPLE TO REVIEW!  
  
Ahem!  
  
LilLuckyLivelyLily 


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